KEKXIFIED

stress leave?

I’m beginning to think taking a break from work would be beneficial for me, I’m just not sure if it’ll help me from my other heavier problem tho. (I need to be busy with something, i just don’t know what) I need to fix myself, I need to be happy.  Like, besides the weight gain and soreness, I need to feel beautiful. All this depression is taking over me. We’re not even talking about mental issues, yeah, the fatigue and the “wanting to die all the time” thing gets really exhausting.

one cold beer pls. 

Here we go again…

Hayy, I just had to let this one out because I feel like I became too fucking emotional this year 2013.It’s almost mid year and I don’t see any life progress. It’s becoming a routine and I’m too burnt out already! Is it because I don’t have any cathartic release anymore? I mean, I already pushed myself away from friends, I barely see my family, I stopped seeking for adventure, I got fat and ugly… what’s even worst is I get mad as a hatter like all the time, with no apparent reason!  I honestly hate who I’ve become now. Sometimes, I just want to live somewhere I don’t know anyone and rest. For once, I want to be foreign and explore things without anyone bothering me or dictates me what’s wrong or right.

Right now, I feel like punching someone over and over or do firing and print photos of the people I loathe and make all those motherfucker my target! Basta, what I feel right now is I’m trapped in a cycle of trying to do my best and proving myself too much from people who doesn’t even give a single fuck. I don’t know how to end the cycle honestly… is resignation my option? Definitely… But what holds me back is that I’m too scared of looking weak, scared of starting new, scared of looking for another job and I just couldn’t see how to resolve my situation. It was like staring into an abyss. What holds me nalang siguro is I just know life will all just work itself out in the end. Patience, Kristen.

You don’t own me.

Hard work has a limit too, uhm, excuse me, not because I can do it, means I should tolerate what is happening… To tell you honestly, I’m not happy anymore, I just miss the old me. The old Kex who makes decision without holding back… I don’t know the exact reason why I’m still staying…onti na lang talaga, onti na lang ang pasensya ko. I hope, in time, I can figure this out, but for now tiis na lang muna :|

who said money can’t buy happiness?

Sure, money can’t buy you just happiness. It can however, solve the problems that take away your happiness.

I really hate the fact that finances control so much of our lives. I mean we can’t deny the fact that money plays such a huge part to us because if it isn’t that much important, why are we working then? for basic needs? NO! whoever says that is a hypocrite! 

I mean what else can make you happy, huh? 

movies = 180 bucks

food = not less than 150 bucks

TV = 15,000 for the cheapest brand

Internet = 1900 a month 

Stay at home= electric bills = still money

Hang out with friends = Transportation= not less than 100 pesos 

Travel= Oh don’t let me start computing!

Everything has a price tag,I tell you!  I mean what else doesn’t involve money? tell me? It sucks big time because if money is tight, it just doesn’t feel right! (okay, sorry for the lame intent of rhyming words) but seriously, kidding aside,  I think I need extra income! Not that I’m complaining with my current work but it’s just not enough for my “needs” (i’m not even whining about my wants yet but even for my needs, i always come short)… I just… I want to plan something special and  I’ve got a lot of  fun plans in my head, but I’m just too broke that it kinda holds me back since the question here is how will or how do I sustain that happiness? 

sabi nga ng kaibigan ko “buti pa si Angelica Panganiban nauuna maubos ang pasensya —ako kasi pera eh, kaya pla ang haba ng pasensya ko” - Karl Bautista

Resolution?

I don’t know if it’s just me but every first day of the year seems so awkward to me… My family or I suppose every family tries too hard or at least wants this day to be extra ordinary well in fact it’s just another day, but different year. what’s so special about it?

People wants to have a fresh jump start, a cleaner slate…People then suddenly decides to quit their old habits… “THE” grand hanging question there is, until when can people hold on to that so-called new year’s resolution of theirs? 

I mean until when can you say no to god damn pork? to nicotine? to shopping? All of those tempting sin?! 

Well, my January 1?  Semi ordinary, Semi- interesting! 

Welcomed it with food, fireworks and beer! 

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Then we had too much variety of food for lunch and also a lot of plates to wash!

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Then the rest of the day got so boring so I doodled my emotions away, talked to my bf,  and watched series from my laptop…

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As I said earlier the day was too boring to handle  so ergo’s my first set of vain photos for the year… 

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Then to cap the first of January, Our family ate the most unhealthy food in the world (undeniably!! ) what else but, BURGER!! (God bless America for Burgers)

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Then here comes the semi interesting part, The car we were using had flat tires all along so we had to seek help from Kuya Ga, my dad’s driver to rescue us!

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Good thing, the place we stopped by is a korean grocery store and so what else to buy but korean ice cream!

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That was it! my semi-boring/interesting welcome for 2013! what’s yours? do you have any resolutions (to break towards the middle of 2013)? *ehem*

Mine, well, like every girls, the word DIET! 

Lookin’ back on the things I’ve done…

I was tryin’ to be someone, CHAROT! (Kumanta na lang?!) 

But kidding aside, I think this is the proper time I should be thanking 2012 right? Now is the time to reminisce, emote, rejoice and as my title says, it’s the perfect time to look back on the things we have done for twenty fuckin twelve! (Whether it is something to be proud of or NOT)

It was this year when I graduated with pretty much decent grades, won print ad category, accomplished 2 sets of short film, finished thesis, my ex broke up with me, had a freelance job offer from one of the biggest ad agency, became a legit copywriter for a month, wrote for Coca Cola and Jollibee, settled for a much more stabled job in production, met a lot of new faces, now independently manages and earns own money, sadly stopped blogging (huhu), and to cap my year off, I met someone who makes me super duper happy and in love! 

So 2012, you’ve been an insane freaking year just like a roller-coaster ride. You’ve given me a lot of ups and downs during the 366 love-and-hate relationship of us and I’m sure this applies to every single person right there who’s reading my post. Ergo my left hand’s raising cheers to everybody who survived the so-called 2012 apocalypse! 

Tonight, when the clock strikes 12, I’m letting go all the bad vibes and noise it all out and start the year with a clean slate! 

Hello 2013! (Too lazy to support this with photographs so..yes, my post is boringgg) hope my 2013 isn’t tho! 

So ready and excited to accomplish my abandoned 2012 bucket list! :)

Still not sleepy yet! #SketchTime

Still not sleepy yet! #SketchTime

No Direction

I have a pretty bad sense of direction and I usually get lost even though I’m just inside the mall that  FYI, I already went like gazillion times! Kamusta naman diba? kaya when people asks me how to go to blah blah blah, It’s either I stutter or atleast I try my best to not sound like an idiot! 

Friend: How do I go to your house? 

Me: Okay, hum.. First you make a left,  then you follow the North star and let the Lord guide you…

hahaha, Kidding aside,but a similar scenario REALLY happened to me! 

Friend: How do you go to Las pinas from Manila?

Me: Kita mo yang mga bus na yan? sundan mo! 

Friend: SO pag tumigil yan, titigil din kami? hahahahaha… 

Me: Kebbbs! 

Monopoly, beer and ckika Til’ 5:30 am at @kayepernia ‘s new house! (With @tonmarquez also) Kala mo walang pasok mamaya!

Monopoly, beer and ckika Til’ 5:30 am at @kayepernia ‘s new house! (With @tonmarquez also) Kala mo walang pasok mamaya!

TIME is really GOLD!

Finally, I can cross this off my wish list! I’m so proud and happy to say that most of the things that i have been truly yearning for after a VERY long TIME,  are eventually NOW mine and it’s all because I’ve worked for the hardest blood, sweat and tears!  

Lo and behold, Michael Kors Layton Chronograph! 

I actually gasped when I saw it for the first time. It’s so freakin’ beautiful! Probably the best decision I made this month and I must say it’s a money well spent!

I can now say that Time is really GOLD, (literally and figuratively). If we want something, work for it! The clock is always ticking so we have to do/have what makes us happy. everything will be worth it! 

I still have a few must-have items on my list but for now, must focus 100% on work! And btw, many have noticed that I stopped blogging… To be completely honest,  I have a million things I want to blog about but we’ll see if I can actually get to them during  in betweens of my never ending errands @ work!  Speaking of which…it took me more than the usual to draft this post!! I don’t know why?